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They are as follows: In my experience, this internalized belief is the poison that prevents some gay men from building a healthy relationship, and also why many mess up the ones they already have. Few of us grow up unscathed by family, peers, and a society hostile to our attractions and behaviors.

Some of us have been bullied as children; physically, verbally, and emotionally abused at tender ages by our peers and family members for being gay before we even recognized and understood our same-sex attractions.

You might still be living together, or stay best friends.

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A variation of this theme is when a relationship ends, but you just don’t want to let go of it—even if the guy is still alive.

Many single gay men are happy, valuing their autonomy and personal freedom (like the muscled bad boy described above).

There are things many men have to give up to be in a couple.

For sure, the pendulum has swung far in the other direction.

Contrary to heterosexual fears, legal gay marriage has given the institution an enormous boost in importance.