After all, it’s not like you know you’ll see the other person at home later that night.
For Will and I, the fight that taught this particular lesson was about — ironically — communication.
The tricky thing about this is that communicating well is so much harder when you can only rarely do it face-to-face.
And, as Will and I both learned the hard way, that’s never clearer than when you’re fighting: Separated by so many miles, it’s infinitely easier to just ignore the messages coming through your phone, and harder to muster up the energy to resolve things.
By then, I knew the root of my concerns: Ever since Hurricane Irma hit our area, I was seeing him less, and he didn’t want to visit as much.
It wasn’t the issue that started our conflict, but after a few days of marinating, I knew it was the one that was fueling it. At a certain point, to move forward, it’s best to get as close as possible to an in-person conversation: In the “Go Long!
Will and I are no longer together, but in hindsight, here’s what I wish I had known. If I’m being honest with myself, I know Will and I were both in the wrong.
His ghosting made me feel like I didn’t deserve his attention, and my string of unanswered texts likely put too much pressure on an already volatile situation.
When you’re ready, log on to Skype or Face Time; your argument is much more likely to have a positive outcome when you can read and respond to your partner’s facial expressions.Meet them at the airport by all means but do not get into a private vehicle with them or let them transport your luggage in a private vehicle.Keep the name and exact location of your hotel to yourself until you are completely sure of the other person's intentions.The healthier middle ground between our two approaches: Take some time to cool off, but be intentional about it.A statement like, “I want to talk about this later, after we’ve both calmed down” helps to avoid confrontation, which was likely Will’s goal, while also making it clear that the issue was one that needed to be resolved, which was mine.